You know you're from ATHENS when...
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You know you're from ATHENS when...
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Afternoon becomes morning, and evening becomes noon
You eat dinner after 10 p.m. You eat breakfast before going to bed When the traffic light turns orange, instead of pressing the brakes, you speed through It takes you three hours to drink a cup of coffee You dress up to go for coffee, but you go clubbing with sandals Clubbing ceases to excite you You actually don't use the term "clubbing" Pollution doesn’t bother you You hate cab drivers and their inappropriate attempts at conversation (vulgar descriptions of fictitious female conquests top the list) Waiting for the bus/tram is like waiting for rain in the Sahara Your neighbourhood has a street called El. Venizelou When driving, people mistake your thank-you gesture for a MOUNTZA You forget what Telestet is now called You complain that 25 degrees is too cold for summer You argue with your friends about whether North is better than South Pavements are parking spaces You can’t understand how cities in other countries function without periptera Your first clubbing experience was at PJ’s or Messiah but now you drive past and they remind you of the paidiki xara You forget that the Acropolis is there Tourists are funny You’ve never seen the changing of the guard at Syntagma, and still cannot understand why people find it so amusing. The islands are literally a “hop” away Whenever you drive past McDonald’s in Kifisia at night you frown at the 14 year olds with bird nest hair (Barbour coats and Longchamp bags are EVERYWHERE) You are tired of seeing women with Cayennes driving as if they own the road. You are so over the Athens-Thessaloniki rivalry You consider Athens the only true city in Greece Everyone came from somewhere else, even if they hide it You consider the Interamerican tower a skyscraper You call your friends and your enemies by the same name: MALAKAS You've actually heard yourself or others say "I closed a table" or "I'm going to the oven to get a tiropita" and didn't frown at the poor grammar Strikes are national holidays Rain and snow wreak havoc, making you think you are in the age of Noah's arc You associate Syggrou with debauchery (hookers, strippers, Baby-O) No smoking signs are so vintage. Recycling is still theoretical to you. Your souvlakia come faster than an ambulance You wouldn’t dream of wearing red near or about Alexandras on a football night You pay a whole month's salary at the Bouzoukia in one night Despite all this, you wouldn’t dream of living anywhere else. |

